WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
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So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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