Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize