You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I understand Curling. That high.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize