you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize