so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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