I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
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it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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