The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
operation have a gay friend backfired
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize