I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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