her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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