We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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