Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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