Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize