i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize