You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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