yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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