"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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