i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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