I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize