4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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