Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize