You're so nebulous sometimes
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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