You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize