just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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