yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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