Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
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can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
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I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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