so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
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i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
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Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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