he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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