NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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