It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize