Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I want to have your abortion
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
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we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
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He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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