I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Your cock deserves a montage
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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