thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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