it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize