he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
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You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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