last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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