I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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