through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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