..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize