Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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