It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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