woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
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We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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