What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize