mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize