That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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