I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize