I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize