I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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