Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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