Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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