My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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